you get scared you’ll swallow it. you love the first few fresh bites of it. after a long while, the sweetness is gone.
you just chew cos’ of habit. you’re afraid of spitting it out cos’ your mouth will feel empty and you teeth will need to bite.
but everything else in your life still remains the same.
even worse, you smoke or eat when you’ve got that chewing gum with you. cos’ the chewing gum is there and you are lazy to spit it out, eat and get a new gum. so you keep it there while doing everything else.
“From now on I’m dating myself, I already know myself, so I know my conversations are good, I’ve always said I wanted someone just like me, there is no one more like me than me…I amaze myself sometimes…no one to impress but myself…all until someone better comes along.”—Poetri, Dating Myself (via poeticheartache)
it’s human nature i guess, to be afraid of being lonely.
what i admire, or respect is how people admits of the loneliness they dread or they’re feeling.
what i admire more, is embracing loneliness. it’s nothing to feel embarrassed about. it’s never a bad thing. it’s a time for so many things you never get to do with people around you. it’s a moment of soul-searching, in some cases.
you like the attention. it makes you feel wanted. too much of it smokes what’s really there. blurs who’s really there for you. and at the end of the day, you feel lost and confused. cos’ you’ve never dared to face reality. to see what’s right in front of you.
Times have changed. We aren’t close anymore. It is almost like we never were. But we were. You know more about me than anybody I know. You know more about me than the people I am close to now. Simply because I am not as close to them as I was to you. I am scared to be as close to people, because…
I hate it when people say that the shirt you bought looks nice on me. I hate it when people ask me about you. I hate it when I think about you sometimes when I’m staring into space. I hate it that I found the necklace you bought in a place I hid for so long. I hate that its been a year that I loved you much.
I’m glad I’m over you. But I’m afraid that I won’t forget you. I’m done with trying.
“Too often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can’t have. Desire leaves us heartbroken, it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life. But as tough as wanting something can be, the people who suffer the most, are those who don’t know what they want.”—Meredith Grey, Grey’s Anatomy (Via evollove) (via quote-book) (via insomniapit)